MARCH FIRST!

Amen to that. March is my self improvement month. Let get back on track Matty!!!!!

Birthday Shmirthday.

This past weekend was super fantastically crazy!!! Fuze at Abyss in San Jose was fun. Lime in Castro was completely unplanned and fun. My mid-night lemme get fucked up cause it's my birthday was fun. Too bad I do not remember the majority of it. BUT on my actual day of birth, it wasn't so fantastically super fun. It was quite dull actually. Haha. Anywho tonight me & sister from another mother/ roomie are going to officially celebrate our birthdays at MILK BAR on Haight Street. I'm so tired and lazy & sort of want to stay in, but we invited a lot of our friends so .... I'm going. Hopefully it'll be just as memorable or quasi memorable. Until nexttime .............

Breaktime.

Random: There was this abused animals trainer guy that came in & he had a parrot that spoke 5 different languages!!! & it makes hella animal immitations. I love animals!! :]

The good, the bad, & the super fcking ugly!!!

FUCK FEBRUARY!!!! Not my month at all ... well j/k. It is the month of my birth. Any way, round two of my retarded ass incident. Eff relationships. But anyway, in my last few blogs I'm been stressing how super excited I am about my 21ST BIRTHDAYYY!!!! Tuesday the 17TH!!! I just did my taxes online and that was the most .... ugh ... it was an epic headache. I can't wait until tomorrow, going out finally!!! After a million years of just house parties & working I get to go out!!! WHOOO!!!! Valentines day I'm working, THANK THE MAN UPSTAIRS.

I've been irritated lately by certain individuals. I mean, if you have something to say, just come to me & say it. It's pretty basic. Noones going to get mad & argue or get rowdy or whatever. Especially me. I'm probably going to just passivly ask,"Why?" or something to that effect.

This blog was shamefull, I swear the next one will have some sort of content.

Moving forth.

It's been a week or so since my dreary ass incident happened. Blah who gives a fuck. (I do, but what can you do?) Well, I think I'm finally getting towards where I want to be in life. I just need to save for school. Shits so whack!!! I'm about to be 21 & I'm still a freshman!! UGH. But I love my roomies & I feel like we're all super cool. We all could have more bonding time, but we're all super busy. Maybe a real movie night or something one of these days with the four of us. I've been smoking hella lately. Not stogs. Not hooka. YOU KNOW!! It's just chill. My lifes been on a dry spell lately. Same old routine. Not me at all. Actually, I've been hella bymyself a lot lately. But in two weeks I'm be 21, so that should open up new opportunities of fun. MILK THE 17TH OF FEBRUARY!!! Be there or stay home and be dry and dusty!!! & Of course I'm going to end this blog with a photo cred .... of my sexy roomie/ sister/ besterest friend Jenae! You model, you!

Superfun.

"It was fun while it lasted." That's the quote that would sort of describe how I feel. Everytime I get my chance at "love," it pretty much never lasts. The funny thing is, I'm usually the one to leave. The one to turn my back on a fucked up relationship. This time though ... I was the one that got left. & it was for a previous relationship that this person had been in. Something along the lines of trying to re-working it. I don't know. I want to say I dont give a fuckin shit about it. But I do, and it does hurt. I guess this is my karma ... for what I've done, I do not know. I just know that it hurts a lot. It hurts especially since it was so sudden. How sudden? Try .... breaking the news to someone you were starting to get involved with right after kissing thme, right after hugging them, right after you told them you miss them since the last time you've seen them.

Yeah, if I ask anyone, they'd all say the same thing. That shits fucked up. IT'S FUCKED UP. I feel though, within my mind, that ... hey, you know what ... it's bullshit & that person got off hella easy. There is always that should've, would've, & could've that I should've done/ said. BUT. I just believe that it's not up to me to make a person feel guilty. Something is bound to happen to them, & when it does, I feel deep in my mind that they will be back. & when they do comeback to me, I'm going to be at my best, looking my best, feeling my best, and for damn sure taking that opportunity to shoot 'em down.

As for now, I'm sad.

OH 2009!

It's only been a couple of weeks & 2009 has been quite eventful. I don't want to publish any of it though. I can say that good things happen to good people.I can also say that, when you get older, you realize that you have got to handle situations in the most effective way. Now, when I say effective, I mean ... is your actions in response to a situation going to produce the outcome that you want? In my case, somewhat. Losing a close friend in the process wasn't what I had expected, but at the same time, I'm gaining so much more than I had expected!! A beautiful renovated apartment, roomies that are great friends, and financial stability.

On a lighter note, I CAN'T wait until I turn 21 in a month!!! WHOO WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!& NAE BIG SISTER BEST FRIIIIEENNNDD IS GONNA BE 22!!!! JOIN US FOR OUR FUCKN BIRTHDAY CAUSE I'M FOSHO IT'S GONNNAAA BE CRACCKKKKIIIINN SON!!!